I Wont Stop Holding Him
“Don’t stop holding him!” said a mama of three who is watching her girls grow way too fast. And while I KNOW this, her words reflect everything I need to hear. It doesn’t matter how much we know or have grown, we still need reminders. We ALWAYS need other moms. And....who doesn’t need to slow down?
Yes life speeds on at holiday pace, and Theo is more awake every day. Sometimes I catch him watching me when I’m focused in a million other directions at once. He patiently waits for me to engage and slices through my frenzy with a gummy smile or the coos he is practicing. He is only fussy on the days I drag him around too much, but his protests fade the longer we sit together in stillness. Five kids deep, there is no schedule or even a bottle. He gags on pacifiers and hasn’t figured out how to suck his thumb. I nurse him on demand knowing there are a million less depleting ways, but before I even think about bottles or where the sleep training debate stands these days, he draws me back to PRESENT where I belong. In that calm and healing space, I remember there’s an end to the sleepless nights and messy days of juggling life with one hand. Sometimes it doesn’t all get done but somehow, someway, everything that needs to does and life carries on. He grows. The fridge is empty again. Another kid needs new shoes, and I can’t serve a single meal without complaints, but there hasn’t been a day too long or hard the eye cream a friend sent won’t fix. Her love reminds me I must love myself, so I practice self care and pray for the day he learns to self soothe. Then I carry on just like you do, just as we all must.
But just for a moment, I’ll be still, because a wise mama reminded me this too shall pass means all of it and what really matters are these small meaningful moments with the ones we love more than we ever imagined possible.